And Then The Fight Started




1. When I got home last night, my wife demanded
that I take her someplace expensive...
so, I took her to a gas station.....


And then the fight started....

2. After retiring, I went to the Social Security office
to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the
counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets
and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry,
but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said,
"Unbutton your shirt."

So I opened my shirt
revealing my curly silver hair.

She said,
"That silver hair on your chest is proof enough
for me" and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife
about my experience
at the Social Security office..
She said, "You should have dropped your pants..
You might have gotten disability, too."


And then the fight started.....

3. My wife and I were sitting at a table
at my high school re union,
and I kept staring at a drunken lady
swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, "Do you know her?"

"Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend
. I heard she took to drinking right
after we split up those many years ago
and she hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" says my wife,
"Who would think a person could go
on celebrating that long?"


And then the fight started.....

4. I rear-ended a car this morning.
So, there we were alongside the road
and slowly the other driver got
out of his car. You know how sometimes
you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it....
he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car,
looked up at me, and shouted,
"I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"

So, I looked down at him and said,
"Well, then which one are you?"


And then the fight started.....