Johnny Carson did a wonderful comedy routine called
"CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT. "
Below are some examples of the humor.

ANSWER: Gatorade.
QUESTION: What does an alligator get on welfare?

A: Bible belt.
Q: What holds up Oral Roberts' pants?

A: Milk and honey.
Q: What do you get from a bee that has an udder?

A: Clean air, a virgin and a gas station open
on Sunday.
Q: Name three things you won't find in Los Angeles.

A: Black and white and twenty feet tall.
Q: Describe Sister Mary Kong.

A: Ben Gay.
Q: Why didn't Mrs. Franklin have any kids?

A: An unmarried woman.
Q: What was Elizabeth Taylor between 3 and 5 PM on
June 1, 1952?

A: Disjoint.
Q: What was dat hippie smoking?

A: The Laughing Policeman.
Q: What do you call a cop who frisks himself?

A: Dustin Hoffman.
Q: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman.

A: Until he gets caught.
Q: How long does a United States Congressman serve?

A: Old wives tale.
Q: What do cannibals find hard to digest?

A: Rub-a-dub-dub.
Q: What does a masseuse do to your dub-dub?

A: Shareholder.
Q: What did Sonny Bono used to be?

A: Scalawags.
Q: What does your scala do when it's happy?

A: David Frost.
Q: On a cold morning what forms on your David?

A: Head and shoulders.
Q: What do you see if you open the trunk of the
Godfather's car?

A: Hickory Dickory Dock.
Q: Who do you go to when you have a pain in
your hickory dickory?

A: "Rose Bowl."
Q: What do you say when it's Rose's turn at the
bowling alley?

A: That darn cat.
Q: Who ruined that darn rug?

A: High rollers.
Q: Describe a stoned bowling team.

A: Gunga din.
Q: What do you hear when you put an amplifier
in your gunga?

A: "Follow the yellow brick road."
Q: What are good directions to a urologist's office?

A: At both ends.
Q: Where do New Yorkers put their dogs muzzles?

A: Igloo.
Q: What do you use to keep your ig from falling off?

A: R-O-L-A-I-D- S.

Q: How does a stupid person spell "backgammon" ?

A: Grape Nuts.
Q: What are Ernest and Julio Gallo?

A: Supervisor.
Q: What does Clark Kent wear to keep the sun out
of his eyes?

A: Crabgrass.
Q: What do crabs get high on?

A: Shake-N-Bake.
Q: Describe a double feature with Earthquake and
The Towering Inferno.

A: Blazing Saddles.
Q: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch?

A: Flypaper.
Q: What do you use to gift wrap a zipper?










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